Albums
Behold Rock in all its unbridled glory! New songs are being added frequently, so check back often. All songs are available for purchase as 160 kbps DRM-free mp3s. Just scroll down to the store at the bottom of this section, check the boxes next to the songs you want, and press “Check Out.” It will then ask you to create a Snocap account, but all this means is that they want you to log into Paypal. If you don’t have Paypal, you can enter your credit card information and pay securely with that.

Are you too cheap to pay for stuff? Me too! Don’t worry; many of the songs on this page can be downloaded for free. Just look for the FREE DOWNLOAD badge next to certain song titles.

Click on an album title to go to that album's section, which features a flash player that plays all the songs on the album. The songs in the flash player are low quality so that they load quickly, but it may still take a few seconds for them to load. If you have DSL or Cable, just click on the song title in the player and wait a few seconds; it will start playing. If you have dial up, get a copy of the CD mailed to you; it will get to you faster in the mail than the song will buffer. Clicking on a song title will take you to its section. Each section features a little background information about the song and, if available, a free download.

All of my songs are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 License. What does that mean? It means that you can do whatever you want with my songs as long as you do not use them to make money and you credit me. Want to make an "Old Whore at the Party" music video and post it on YouTube? Go for it! Want to play "The Drunken Frat Boy" on your Podcast? Go for it! Want to make your car horn play "My Siamese Twin Brother is Gay" and blast it all about town? Go for it! Want to have sex with Jessica Alba? Go for it! But that doesn't really apply to my Creative Commons License.

Albums:



My Little Boy BUY IT HERE
My son said his first words the very day he turned one and a half! Can you believe it? Aren't children such little miracles? I wrote this song to commemorate that special day.

Download (Right click and then click "Save Link/Target As...")
Tabs and Lyrics

My Siamese Twin Brother is Gay BUY IT HERE
I was born with a siamese twin. At his urging, and against my wishes, we underwent a seperation surgery years ago. Sadly, my brother didn't make it out of the operating room. I wrote this somber song to honor his memory.

Tabs and Lyrics

Me and My Ladies BUY IT HERE
Every time I visit my cousin in Alabama, he's always got a new woman on his arm. I asked him one day how he managed to wrangle his various beauties, and he told me. His story is the backbone of this song.

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Tabs and Lyrics

One Lucky Girl BUY IT HERE
This song describes a very special woman in my life.

Co-Written by Mike Baum of Machine Complex.

Tabs and Lyrics

The Drunken Frat Boy BUY IT HERE
My Irish grandfather inspired me to write this song when he gave me his old tin whistle when I turned 15. It's a song about friendship, loyalty, and seizing opportunity. It's rather motivational.

Tabs and Lyrics

I Only Want to Be Your Man BUY IT HERE
This song describes how one of my first relationships ended. And no, I've never seen "Boys Don't Cry," so quit asking me. I'd tell Hillary Swank to suck my cock if not for the fact that I'm pretty sure she has one herself.

Tabs and Lyrics

50's Love Song BUY IT HERE
Ah, the 50's. It was a simpler time, a time in which people were terrified of attack from a hidden enemy and every popular song sounded exactly the same. It was a time not unlike our own. I wrote this song to honor my one true love, in the spirit of the 50's.

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Tabs and Lyrics

Old Whore at the Party BUY IT HERE
I was at a party the other night, and just as I was getting ready to leave, I caught eyes with a very special woman. This song is about that night.

Tabs and Lyrics

She's Just Not For Me BUY IT HERE
Have you ever met someone that everybody else thought was great but who you just didn't like? Someone who most thought was perfect, but you knew was missing that little something special? I have, and I wrote a song about it.

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Tabs and Lyrics

Mike's a Fluffer BUY IT HERE
A fluffer is somebody who "prepares" porn stars for the set. Gets things ready, if you see what I mean. I'm sure this day and age, you probably already knew what a fluffer was, and if you're somebody who listens to the songs on this site, you've probably been employed as one in the past too. Anyway, my friend Mike (who appears elsewhere in this album) did not know what a fluffer is. I wrote this song to help him out.

Tabs and Lyrics

Free Cherry Snow Cones BUY IT HERE
This song tells an epic tale about the quest for freedom, the decay into tyranny, and the sudden but inevitable betrayal of the Penguins. Damn sneaky Penguins...

Back-up vocals and face-melting solo performed by Mike Baum of Machine Complex.

Tabs and Lyrics


Clogging the Tubes (In Progress)
  1. inDIGGnant
  2. I'm So Stuck on Halo FREE DOWNLOAD

inDIGGnant BUY IT HERE
Alright, I used to a big fan of a certain site (whose name I will not mention for fear of litigation, as apparently they own the right to sue you and your family out of house and home if you use their name, which, I might add, is a verb with an extra fucking letter on it) that I thought championed free speech and the spread of ideas, but then a few events such as the publishing of the HD-DVD key and the destruction of diggress.com led me to realize that Kevin Rose and his army of Nazi Lawyers suck.

Tabs and Lyrics

I'm So Stuck on Halo BUY IT HERE
So there's this game. I don't know if you've heard of it, but its kind of popular. A new installment came out, so I wrote a song about it.

Download (Right click and then click "Save Link/Target As...")
Tabs and Lyrics